Sunday, April 17, 2011

Daily Story 26 - Honesty Isn't Always the Best Policy

At ten years of age, Kyle was used to a lot of things. He was an expert at living off the land. He could easily fall asleep in the middle of a mountain forest. He was used to seeing nobody but his mother for weeks at a time, and to giving a false name to anyone he met. He could stand eating just about anything, and he had a high tolerance for the cold water of mountain streams and lakes. On top of that, he didn't mind the lack of privacy that his hidden life tended to cause. He could swim in the nude with his mother and not be bothered by it in the least. Heck, he'd even built a high tolerance for his mother's tendency to embarrass him by being so bluntly honest all the time.

This latest development in his short life, however, was too much for the young half-wolf to bear.

"Come on, Kyle, it's just sex. Hell, you've walked in on your dad and me going at it, so why is just talking about it so damn traumatizing?" his mother asked.

"It's because you're going into way too much detail and it's weird!" Kyle snapped.

"Hey, you're the one who asked about it," Annie said, in a tone that made Kyle realize that she was doing this just to embarrass him again. "Come on, you need to at least know the basics."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, penis goes into vagina, baby comes out nine months later. What else is there to say about it?"

"Well, I haven't even started on having sex for fun."

"Wh- isn't that basically the same thing?" Kyle asked.

"There's a lot more you can do besides that," Annie said patiently.

Kyle felt like he would start bleeding from every orifice in his head if his face got any redder. "Well... I'm probably not gonna have sex for a long time anyway, so I don't need to know it now, do I?"

Annie let out a squeal and hugged Kyle to her. "Oh my God, you're so fucking cute when you're embarrassed!"

"Mom!" Kyle practically screamed as he pushed her off of him. He felt like he was going to have a panic attack.

"Okay, okay, we'll leave it at that for today," his mother said. "But there's still a lot you need to know about, so we're going to keep talking about this tomorrow, got it?"

Kyle groaned. "Do we have to?"

"Would it make you feel better if I censored it?" Annie asked.

"Yes," Kyle muttered.

"Fine. Starting now, I'm going to replace all sex-related terms with equine terms."

Kyle blinked. "What?"

Annie winked at him. "You're going to thank me later when your girlfriend wants to unicorn."


No comments:

Post a Comment