Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Daily Story 338 - Treacherous Bread

During the feast of the victorious sniper mops, one of the orphan children choked on a piece of bread. The orphan recovered after the boring mop forced the bread out of its throat, but the bread ran off into the night and began plotting some evil plan of nefarious deeds. The entire place of legend was filled with a sense of foreboding.

Daily Story 337 - Fancy Feast

The sniper mops were successful in taking out the renegade beads. The buckets and the beads within were all safe and unharmed. Thus, a feast was held in their honor.

Daily Story 336 - Evil Beads

One morning the orphan children went into the room of beads to continue their sorting, but they were shocked to find that a group of beads had taken control of the bead buckets that the children had used to sort the beads, and they were holding the buckets - and the sorted beads within - ransom. The children sought the help of the high fancy mop, the mop that ruled over the place of legend and all the mops within it. The high fancy mop negotiated with the renegade beads and eventually decided to send in a few sniper mops, as the rebellious beads were incapable of settling for less than their demands and it was plain to see that there was no other way to save the hostage buckets and beads than to rid the world of the evil beads.

Daily Story 335 - Happy Orphan Children

The orphan children lived in the place of legend with the boring mop for many days before they began to grow restless. After a while, the older asked one of the fantastic mops whether there was something they could do that wasn't so mop-oriented, and the mop showed them a room full of massive piles of tiny assorted beads that had been left there by an old mop who had been rather obsessed with making beaded jewelry. However, that mop had been destroyed in an unfortunate baking accident, and nobody else in the place of legend knew what to do with them.

The orphan children were ecstatic. They immediately set to work sorting the beads according to color, and they spent many, many happy weeks creating order amidst the chaos of the bead room.

Daily Story 334 - Mops of Fortune

The boring mop was still traveling alone through the desert when it found the lonely orphans. It consoled them and forgave them and helped them bury their dear sibling before accompanying them to a place of legend. Nobody knew what this place of legend held, but it was a place of legend, so they decided to see what was there. Upon arriving, the children were a little disappointed, but the boring mop was thrilled. The place of legend was filled with mops, and all of these mops were amazing and fortunate and wonderful.

Daily Story 333 - The Death of the Loneliest Orphan

One of the lonely orphan children was not up to the task of searching the desert for a mop. It fell over a rock and died, and the other two orphans were sad.

Daily Story 332 - Questing For Sandy Moppy Bits

The three lonely orphan children heard about the mop's misfortunes. They realized they had done wrong in selling the mop without bothering to discover why it felt so compelled to eat things, and they felt that they were the only ones to give it a decent home, so they set out one day to look for it.

Daily Story 331 - Sad Lonely Sand

The sand that had been eaten and thrown up by the boring mop was lonely and sad.

Daily Story 330 - Sand Tastes Terrible

The boring mop was tired of eating sand. Eventually it took a bite of sand and threw up, which as a mop was very alarming and disturbing, not to mention gross and confusing. It decided it would pass on eating sand for a while.

Daily Story 329 - The Boring Mop is Hungry

The boring mop needed something to eat as it wandered the desert all alone. Eventually it fell over into the sand and took a bite. It wasn't exactly a gourmet meal, but it was enough to keep the mop going for a while.

Daily Story 328 - Boring Mop's Revenge

The boring mop found the men who set fire to the building of the man who investigated inanimate objects that did strange things, and the mop took a bite out of each and every one of them. The men had no idea how to react to the strange mop-like bite marks in their arms the next morning, and they would never find out, as the mop set their house on fire and they didn't have enough time to get away from the house before they burned to death.

Daily Story 327 - Boring Mop Escapes

The boring mop was left in the metal room until the man who investigated inanimate objects that did strange things had the time and the means to investigate the mop further. The man put the mop on a table, which the mop promptly took a bite out of, and decided to try and communicate with it. After a few hours, the man realized that the mop did not bite people out of anger or malice, but rather out of self-defense. He decided it would be all right to leave the mop out in the open, as long as it promised not to eat any furniture.

That night, however, some strange men came into the building and set it on fire. The mop tried to wake the man who investigated strange inanimate objects, but the man was unconscious due to a bit too much smoke inhalation. The mop broke out of the building through a window and tried to get help, but it was too late. The man and his building were already burnt beyond recognition. Thus, the mop was left to begin its life all over again, and it wandered into the desert to mourn for a while.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Daily Story 326 - Three Hundred and Two Moppy Bits

The boring mop was tired of counting. It knew beyond a doubt that it had 302 moppy bits at its bottom, and it wanted something better to do. It decided to look for patterns in the metal of the metal room it was contained in. One day it found a butterfly.

Daily Story 325 - The Boring Life of the Boring Mop

The boring mop was stuck in a metal room, and it was bored. It wanted to leave the metal room, but it had been labeled a hazard by the man who investigated strange inanimate objects. The mop wished to tell the man that it was not a hazard, but due to its mop-like features and inanimate tendencies, the mop was unable to speak. The mop simply waited in the metal room for someone to let it out, though it grew rather bored and resorted to counting the fibers in its bottom to pass the time.

Daily Story 324 - The Boring Mop Eats People

There was a man who lived in the city by the desert who spent his time investigating strange inanimate objects. His latest investigation was of a mop that seemed to be rather boring, but had apparently tried to eat a yellow chair belonging to some orphans. The man put the mop under observation for twelve hours, then began to experiment on it. He soon discovered something rather alarming. The mop not only had a taste for yellow chairs, but it also had a taste for human flesh. This would be rather troubling if the mop were to go back to residing in someone's house, and so, the man locked the mop away in a metal room with walls that would be impossible for the mop to bite into or digest.

Daily Story 323 - The Boring Mop ate the Yellow Chair

Three young orphans lived in the desert by an oasis that nobody else really knew about. One night, one of the orphans had a dream. She woke up in a panic and woke her siblings to tell them about her horrible nightmare.

"It's all right," said the older one. "Mops don't eat chairs, sissy. Mops don't eat anything."

"I wouldn't be too sure," said the younger one, pointing to the yellow chair nearby. There was a small bite mark on the side of it, and there was a strange line of wooden splinters and yellow paint chips on the mop handle. It looked like the mop was smiling.

"Do we even need this mop anyway?" the older one asked.

"Just for keeping the window open, and we hardly ever do that anymore anyway," the younger said. And so, the next morning, the three orphans went into the nearest town and sold the mop to some guy who was investigating inanimate objects that did strange things. They never had to worry about their yellow chair again.

Daily Story 322 - Boring Mop in the Desert

The desert mop was about as uninteresting as a piece of glass that served no purpose and just sat around in the middle of nowhere where nobody actually saw it because nobody lived there and very few people actually passed by it. However, someone did pass by the desert mop, and this person definitely noticed it. This person was an orphan who lived near an oasis in the desert, and the orphan brought the mop home to show her orphan siblings. They weren't sure what they could do with a mop, but they kept it around anyway because they were orphans living in the desert and that's what desert orphans do.

Daily Story 321 - Yellow Chair in the Desert

There was a yellow chair in the desert, not far from the small oasis which supplied the nearby family of three orphaned children with food and water of the most wonderful kind. The children didn't know of the chair's existence for the longest time because it blended in so well with the yellowish sand of the desert, but when they found it, they happily took it into their home and used it both as a chair and a table, depending on what the circumstances called for.

There was also a mop but nobody really cared about the mop because there was nothing to use it for other than to prop open the window because they were in the freaking desert. Granted, it served this purpose very well, but the orphan siblings didn't need to hold the window open very often, so it didn't really matter.

Daily Story 320 - Sad Packing Peanut

The packing peanut on the table had once made friends with a dog. The dog hadn't been the best friend to the packing peanut, but nevertheless the packing peanut had loved the times they had spent together. The packing peanut enjoyed sitting on the dog's head while the dog seemed to be oblivious to its very existence, and while the dog sometimes found the packing peanut on its head and always tried to brush the packing peanut away, the packing peanut was happiest when it spent time with the dog.

However, it was not able to spend time with the dog on this particular day. Thus, the packing peanut spent the day moping in silent packing peanut disappointment.

Daily Story 319 - The Sexy Salt Shaker

The sexy salt shaker actually wasn't very sexy at all. It did have a good and fulfilling romantic life, however.

Daily Story 318 - The Phone Book on the Table

There was a phone book on the table, and it like to read itself. If it had been able to pick up a phone or speak into it, it would have called up everyone inside it whose name sounded sexy to it.