Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I Have a Talent For Hurting Myself

I'm totally doing this at the last minute so it's going to be kind of sucky until morning. I'll edit it and make it better tomorrow. Hopefully.

So last Thursday I went snowboarding. Now it hurts to take deep breaths and laugh.

Good thing I decided to watch funny shopping prank videos well after the Tylenol had worn off.

Then when I was about to go to bed last night, I walked back to my room and my foot decided it needed to remind me how much it hated me. So I spent half the night in pain and didn't get any painkillers because I didn't want to wake up my brother who's sleeping in the living room for the next couple weeks.

This seems to be a trend in my family. I've also managed to burn my arm hair while lighting an advent wreath. My sister can fall over just by standing in place. We're talented like that.

Uh. Yeah. That's about it.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

New Update, uh, Dates!

Okay, so I totally forgot to put up a new entry on Thursday. I blame that on snowboarding.

Anyway, I've decided that I'm going to shoot for twice a week with new entries. Nowadays you can expect something to go up on Wednesdays and Saturdays, unless I forget in which case it might be a day or two late. This counts for today's entry unless I manage to think of something else to write about so yeah.

So, let's talk about life for a while, shall we? One of these days you can expect to hear about my adventures with a 5,000 piece puzzle that's taken over the dining room table (Juno did work on it some, but she claimed it wasn't "engaging" enough for her so she quit. Lazy dog...) and also about how I'm organizing my room with the help of giant plastic tubs, and maybe some other stuff about family and friends and Juno (there will always be something about Juno) so look forward to that. All three of my siblings will be home for Christmas so there are bound to be some hilarious hijinks afoot. My parents just left for Denver today to pick up my oldest sister and brother, so Juno and I are alone in the gallery until tomorrow sometime.

Uh, yeah, I think that's it. Sorry for the delay, but this ought to make up for it:


You're welcome.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Juno the Genius

I almost got this one done on time but then I forgot to do it and I didn't want to stay up until 4am just because my internet likes to be slower than a decapitated monkey trying to learn how to spell. And decapitated monkeys are really damn slow when it comes to learning how to spell, because they're usually dead and I don't think monkeys are that good at spelling anyway. But I digress. The important thing here is that I like fast internet.

Every now and then I wonder if I may be just a little bit too obsessed with my dog, but then I remember that my dog is awesome. She is absolutely adorable, she's sweet and good-tempered, she's patient, and most importantly, she's a genius. Just look at how focused she is on this 5,000-piece puzzle:



See? She absolutely exudes brilliance. So anyway, because my dog's intelligence is unbelievably high, I've decided to demonstrate it to you with the most incredible show of deductive reasoning you will ever see*. Watch and be amazed:





*in this week's blog

Thursday, December 1, 2011

MY DOG IS BEAUTIFUL ISN'T SHE

So the other day I was hanging up Christmas lights on the gallery, which I would post pictures of but I don't really have any good ones so you'll just have to wait until I manage to get outside with my camera at night when you can actually see the lights and stuff, when Juno decided to come outside and hang out. Since I had my camera with me and I'm slightly obsessed with how adorable she is, I decided to take some pictures. Here she is in the alley that runs right in front of the building:




...Yeah, she likes to lie in the snow. She's kind of weird like that, but I guess she has enough fur that it doesn't matter all that much if she's lying in frozen water. What interests me, though, is what happened when I decided to take a close-up picture:




If it weren't for the bushes in the background here it would be almost impossible to tell that she's just lying in snow.




This has something to do with the way my camera adjusts to lighting and such. If there's a lot of light stuff in the lens, it makes the picture darker so you can see the details on the light stuff, but the dark stuff becomes, well, really dark. If there's a lot of dark stuff in the lens, it makes the picture lighter so you can see the dark stuff, but the light stuff becomes light. There's probably a fancy-sounding technical explanation for this somewhere, but the point is my dog is dark and snow is light, and the dog was the focus in these pictures so the camera made everything light.

Naturally, I came to the conclusion that I had to do something with these epic pictures. After all, it's like a natural green screen, except after a few minutes in photoshop I realized I didn't have the patience to do the green screen effect all that well, but WHATEVER here's my dog with a purple background:




But why stop it there? After all, I can put her anywhere now! Like in a jungle:



Or on the moon:





Even in heaven:





I have no idea where she is in this one, my dad just wanted a green background:





My mother suggested a church, so here's Juno in a church:





And finally, here she is in the North Pole. Santa's gone a little crazy, so be careful when you open your presents this year:



PS my dog also likes to be adorable while I'm eating: