Thursday, September 27, 2012

Things about me that usually get a surprised reaction, Part 1

So I guess I'm going to start a series of posts about things about me that, when I tell other people about them, tend to get some surprised reactions out of people. Why did I decide to do this? Because I just had a thought about pancakes and I wanted an excuse to tell the world that I don't like pancakes.

So, uh, anyway, I don't like pancakes.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hear me out, people. It's not that I think they're bad, it's just that they're not high on my list of favorite breakfast foods. This is because I don't generally like to start my day off with something as rich as pancakes, and I've had one too many occasions where I've eaten too many pancakes for breakfast (usually at the Patio Pancake Place in Salida, CO which is owned and run by extended family and has some awesome food and great service so if you're in Salida around breakfast or lunch time you should check it out) which is not always a bad thing in itself, but when there are enough times that it's followed by having to sit in a car for a few hours - especially when you're prone to carsickness and forgetting to do things that can help prevent said carsickness - then it loses its appeal really quickly.

So basically I can't really eat pancakes because they remind me of being carsick. Crepes are still cool, though.

Monday, September 17, 2012


So I was going to go out on another dish-adventure today but it's been raining for most of the day and there's even snow up on the mountains so that didn't happen.  Instead, I've got a post for you that could be seen as making light of a serious issue (because it kind of is) but is really just me sharing one of the weird things my brain does when confronted with a serious issue.  Basically I wanted to go on a rant about something but then I remembered how much I hate trying to write out my thoughts on serious issues because I get really frustrated whenever I can't fully say what I want to say and also I'd rather be playing with legos right now.  Anyway, I do want people to know what I think about this but I'm saving the full rant for another day when I can actually concentrate on it.  Just thought I'd say that as a disclaimer or something because OMG ANXIETY okay seriously now onto the post.

One of the problems with having a strong obsessive-compulsive streak is that it tends to make me want to argue against blunt, all-encompassing 'such-and-such is always this or that' statements.  I also have to make it very clear whenever I'm making a generalization because I know there are exceptions and I don't want to perpetuate stereotypes or whatever, so a lot of my time is spent going 'okay so things are like this EXCEPT when this or maybe sometimes this could happen or-'

THIS IS ANNOYING. Especially for me. See, you don't have to worry about it because you can't read my mind (and if you can… why don't you go do something a little bit more useful with your life? Seriously, that's kind of rude) but I get to live in my mind all the time so I get to hear the stupid arguments my brain makes ALL THE TIME.

Now, granted, there are times when this can be useful.  For instance, when someone's making a hurtful statement or is blatantly wrong and the consequences of said person being wrong are… well, pretty bad, then it's good to argue and point out when someone's generalizing or whatever.  The thing is, my brain also does this when I hear statements that I agree with.

Take the phrase 'rape is never okay.'  On a logical, rational level, I agree wholeheartedly with this statement.  The very definition of rape is having sex with someone without their consent, and I don't think it's fair to force an activity on anyone, especially one that can result in so a multitude of physical and mental health problems.  The excuses rapist apologists throw out there, like 'I'm a man! I can't control myself when I see a hot piece of ass like that!' or 's/he shouldn't have gone out drinking if she didn't want to get raped,' 'she should've been wearing a burkha,' or 's/he didn't actually say no so s/he must have wanted it' are, to put it bluntly, complete bullshit*.

But then my brain kicks in, and it decides that, since not everything in the world is in black and white, that there MUST be an exception to the rule.  And then it has to go and find it.  Oh, and it also has to make it fit in with my beliefs, because otherwise my brain would just be a total asshole.  The result?  Usually something like this:

Rape is never okay.  Okay, well, maybe there's someone out there who… no, wait.  Oh, I know!  If there's an evil virgin out there whose virginity is literally destroying the world through some evil virgin-magical force of evilness and they're refusing to lose their virginity because, well, evil… then, well, maybe.  But the odds of that happening are pretty slim so yeah, rape is never okay.

So basically my brain takes the BS excuses from whoever I'm arguing against and comes up with extreme hypothetical scenarios where maybe their arguments would be valid, but I don't like to share them because… well, you know, they're pretty stupid and impossible so there's really not any sort of point in sharing them.

*If you disagree with this statement, then I can only say the following: You don't have to agree with me, but I don't have to respect you for being an asshole.

Monday, September 10, 2012

The Circle of Dishes

So I was unloading the dishwasher the other day and I thought, you know what? Dishes must have a really fucking boring life.

I mean, think about it.  All they do is get food put on them, go to wherever you want to eat with you, probably sit on the counter/table/nightstand/floor/whatever for a while, get washed, and get put away.  Sure, maybe sometimes they'll get to go outside when you want to sit out front and eat your food, and maybe you'll do something a bit more interesting with them like use a cup to trap all those bees that keep flying into your house because your windows don't have screens and the one window they love the most doesn't open, but other than that it's pretty much the same routine.

Well, you know what? I won't stand for it any longer.  I'm going to break the circle.  I'm going to give my dishes the fucking dish-adventure of a lifetime.

So let's start with a plate on the windowsill in the sun room.

Pretty awesome, huh?  But this is only the beginning.  It's time to take it even further.








Just look at that gorgeous view.

So, that's the first adventure of the sandwich plate.  Pretty fun, huh?  Just remember, kids (or, um, dishes), don't play in traffic.

Next week: Plates in the Playground