Revenge was a sweet, sweet mistress. She was very kind to the man who had taken her as his mistress, and she was kind and charitable to all those around her. She was dainty as a feather, yet strong as an ox. She loved children and rainbows and puppies and education and the fight for equality for people of all races, religions, sexual orientations, and physical and mental conditions. She was beautiful and intelligent, and she had a delightful sense of humor. In short, she was wonderful, and she only had one weakness.
She loved cheeseburgers.
It was not simply love, however. It was sheer obsession. She craved cheeseburgers. She could not go a day without a cheeseburger, and may God help any pitiful fool who tried to get in the way of her cheeseburger. The one man who did...
Well, besides that one... rather disturbing flaw in her character, Revenge was a very wonderful, beloved individual.
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