Daily Story 127 - Food Makes Me Nauseous

So I was one of those kids who really didn't like certain foods. A picky eater, if you will. But not just any picky eater. I was the kind of picky eater who would get intensely frustrated with anyone who tried to force me to eat foods I didn't like, and I absolutely hated anyone who nagged at me when I tried to selectively push certain kinds of food off to the side. I think what most people didn't get, though, was that I wasn't just being picky or whatever. Some foods just made me want to vomit. They still do, actually. Hell, I threw away an entire sandwich today because it was one of those that had been labeled 'marked down for quick sale' and my paranoid mind translated that as 'THIS SANDWICH IS POISONED IF YOU EAT IT YOU WILL GROW MOLD IN YOUR STOMACH' and though I tried to ignore that paranoia in an attempt to prove to myself that I could eat a sandwich and not die from it, I took a bite and the paranoia returned full-scale and I almost threw up in my mouth and I had to throw it away because I really didn't want to get sick even though it was fine and there was no reason to be nauseous but that just goes to prove my point that my food-eating abilities are very dependent on whether or not I start thinking 'oh gee this is kinda gross' because once I do I might as well just give up on eating for the day.

On the other hand, though, I really hate wasting food, which means there's a never-ending cycle that goes from 'oh hey this looks like good food' to 'oh no I'm too full/slightly weirded out/not actually in the mood for that' to 'oh hey that food's probably going to go bad soon I should eat it before then' to 'okay so I'm eating it now OH GOD IT COULD BE MOLDY/IT HAS A WEIRD TEXTURE I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK GET IT OUT GET IT OUT GET IT OUT' to 'well damn, there goes that idea, plus another $5 down the toilet' to 'I really need to stop buying foods I know I probably won't get to eat' to 'oh but I can probably manage to eat this, this looks like good food' and that is why I've eaten nothing but crackers and a thing of applesauce today (I did manage to swallow half a bite of sandwich and not puke it up, though).