I can't grow a beard. I have a very limited amount of facial hair growth going on, and it consists of two small patches of semi-visible hair on the corners of my upper lip, as well as a solitary dark hair that grows on my chin and drives me so insane whenever I feel it growing in again that I can't concentrate on anything else until I get it pulled out. I would love to grow a full-on beard, but my facial hair just doesn't cooperate, most likely due to the fact that I am female and thus am hormonally challenged.
Conan, on the other hand, has a nice beard. It makes me jealous, but at the same time I am at peace, due to the fact that I can very easily live out my bearded fantasies through his beard. It's as though his beard knows of my plight and is living a fantastic life of bearditude for me.
Will Ferrell has no right to crush my hopes and dreams like that. Seriously. My life is hard enough as it is.
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