Daily Story 156 - Revenge's Cheeseburger

Revenge was a sweet, sweet mistress. She was very kind to the man who had taken her as his mistress, and she was kind and charitable to all those around her. She was dainty as a feather, yet strong as an ox. She loved children and rainbows and puppies and education and the fight for equality for people of all races, religions, sexual orientations, and physical and mental conditions. She was beautiful and intelligent, and she had a delightful sense of humor. In short, she was wonderful, and she only had one weakness.

She loved cheeseburgers.

It was not simply love, however. It was sheer obsession. She craved cheeseburgers. She could not go a day without a cheeseburger, and may God help any pitiful fool who tried to get in the way of her cheeseburger. The one man who did...

Well, besides that one... rather disturbing flaw in her character, Revenge was a very wonderful, beloved individual.

Daily Story 91 - Cheeseburger's Revenge

Today's story is about a cheeseburger. Not a cheezburgur. A cheeseburger. It's not a love song to a cheeseburger, either. It's a cheeseburger that happens to enjoy being single. What, I ask you, is wrong with that?

Single cheeseburgers are perfectly happy cheeseburgers. There is nothing wrong with being a single cheeseburger, nor is there anything wrong with being a properly-spelled cheeseburger, unlike those damn cats would have you believe. You got a problem with that, buddy? No? Good.

I'm watching you. You'd better keep your mouth shut, buddy. Got it?

Anyway, this story is about a single, properly-spelled cheeseburger with an appetite for vengeance.

Except now I can't remember it because someone had to go and ruin my concentration. Thanks a lot, jerk.