Showing posts with label daily story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label daily story. Show all posts
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Daily Story 279 - Wauwelen
Two children were talking a lot. They were sitting in a bus that was mostly full of deaf people. The deaf people didn't seem to mind the constant chatter from the backseat where the children sat.
Daily Story 278 - Verhouding
The kingdom had far too many jelly beans. The neighboring kingdom had a constant shortage. Both kingdoms felt like there was something wrong when the ratio of jelly beans between two kingdoms was so incredibly one-sided.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Daily Story 274 - Ruimte
Two small kittens were in a very small box. They did not have much room to move around. One of them had to pee. The other was not pleased with this. They were both given a bath later that day.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Daily Story 256 - Yesterday's Story Translated For YouTube Commenters
Fuk u angry vlog is way beter tahn yolog Shaycarl is AWESOOEM!!!!!!!!!!!1!!1!1111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Note: see P.S. on previous story for more details.
Note: see P.S. on previous story for more details.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Daily Story 44 - A Day in the Life of Juno
Juno woke up early one morning and yawned as she stood and stretched her limbs. She walked into the living room and then out to the sun room, where she sat watching the minimal signs of life out on the street. After a while, she stood and returned to the bedroom, then whined to wake someone up so that they would take her out on a walk.
She couldn't stay still as one of the humans woke up and got ready to take her outside. The human put on some warm clothes, then sat on the couch and put on some socks and shoes. She made it difficult for them to put on her harness because she was so excited to go outside.
They walked until they were out of town, then the human took her leash off and she ran around on the snow-covered road and jumped into the snowbanks and generally amused herself and the human. When they got back home, she ate breakfast and then got a treat. She slept for a while, then wandered around, got some attention from the humans, slept some more, and went for another walk in the afternoon. When she came back, she ate dinner and got another treat. Then she waited for the humans to eat dinner and begged for food under the table. Then she slept some more. When it was time for the humans to go to bed, she got up and went to sleep in the humans' bedroom.
She couldn't stay still as one of the humans woke up and got ready to take her outside. The human put on some warm clothes, then sat on the couch and put on some socks and shoes. She made it difficult for them to put on her harness because she was so excited to go outside.
They walked until they were out of town, then the human took her leash off and she ran around on the snow-covered road and jumped into the snowbanks and generally amused herself and the human. When they got back home, she ate breakfast and then got a treat. She slept for a while, then wandered around, got some attention from the humans, slept some more, and went for another walk in the afternoon. When she came back, she ate dinner and got another treat. Then she waited for the humans to eat dinner and begged for food under the table. Then she slept some more. When it was time for the humans to go to bed, she got up and went to sleep in the humans' bedroom.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Daily Story 26 - Honesty Isn't Always the Best Policy
At ten years of age, Kyle was used to a lot of things. He was an expert at living off the land. He could easily fall asleep in the middle of a mountain forest. He was used to seeing nobody but his mother for weeks at a time, and to giving a false name to anyone he met. He could stand eating just about anything, and he had a high tolerance for the cold water of mountain streams and lakes. On top of that, he didn't mind the lack of privacy that his hidden life tended to cause. He could swim in the nude with his mother and not be bothered by it in the least. Heck, he'd even built a high tolerance for his mother's tendency to embarrass him by being so bluntly honest all the time.
This latest development in his short life, however, was too much for the young half-wolf to bear.
"Come on, Kyle, it's just sex. Hell, you've walked in on your dad and me going at it, so why is just talking about it so damn traumatizing?" his mother asked.
"It's because you're going into way too much detail and it's weird!" Kyle snapped.
"Hey, you're the one who asked about it," Annie said, in a tone that made Kyle realize that she was doing this just to embarrass him again. "Come on, you need to at least know the basics."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it, penis goes into vagina, baby comes out nine months later. What else is there to say about it?"
"Well, I haven't even started on having sex for fun."
"Wh- isn't that basically the same thing?" Kyle asked.
"There's a lot more you can do besides that," Annie said patiently.
Kyle felt like he would start bleeding from every orifice in his head if his face got any redder. "Well... I'm probably not gonna have sex for a long time anyway, so I don't need to know it now, do I?"
Annie let out a squeal and hugged Kyle to her. "Oh my God, you're so fucking cute when you're embarrassed!"
"Mom!" Kyle practically screamed as he pushed her off of him. He felt like he was going to have a panic attack.
"Okay, okay, we'll leave it at that for today," his mother said. "But there's still a lot you need to know about, so we're going to keep talking about this tomorrow, got it?"
Kyle groaned. "Do we have to?"
"Would it make you feel better if I censored it?" Annie asked.
"Yes," Kyle muttered.
"Fine. Starting now, I'm going to replace all sex-related terms with equine terms."
Kyle blinked. "What?"
Annie winked at him. "You're going to thank me later when your girlfriend wants to unicorn."
"AUGH!"
This latest development in his short life, however, was too much for the young half-wolf to bear.
"Come on, Kyle, it's just sex. Hell, you've walked in on your dad and me going at it, so why is just talking about it so damn traumatizing?" his mother asked.
"It's because you're going into way too much detail and it's weird!" Kyle snapped.
"Hey, you're the one who asked about it," Annie said, in a tone that made Kyle realize that she was doing this just to embarrass him again. "Come on, you need to at least know the basics."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it, penis goes into vagina, baby comes out nine months later. What else is there to say about it?"
"Well, I haven't even started on having sex for fun."
"Wh- isn't that basically the same thing?" Kyle asked.
"There's a lot more you can do besides that," Annie said patiently.
Kyle felt like he would start bleeding from every orifice in his head if his face got any redder. "Well... I'm probably not gonna have sex for a long time anyway, so I don't need to know it now, do I?"
Annie let out a squeal and hugged Kyle to her. "Oh my God, you're so fucking cute when you're embarrassed!"
"Mom!" Kyle practically screamed as he pushed her off of him. He felt like he was going to have a panic attack.
"Okay, okay, we'll leave it at that for today," his mother said. "But there's still a lot you need to know about, so we're going to keep talking about this tomorrow, got it?"
Kyle groaned. "Do we have to?"
"Would it make you feel better if I censored it?" Annie asked.
"Yes," Kyle muttered.
"Fine. Starting now, I'm going to replace all sex-related terms with equine terms."
Kyle blinked. "What?"
Annie winked at him. "You're going to thank me later when your girlfriend wants to unicorn."
"AUGH!"
Daily Story 25 - Douckg
Once upon a time there was a dog. One day, this dog turned into a duck, though he was still very much a dog as well, and he spent the rest of his life as a douckg, quarking at people who passed by. Physicists were amazed at this douckg's ability to turn subatomic particles into a verb that involved using one's vocal cords to make a sound that resembled a cross between a bark and a quack, and they praised the douckg's ingenuity and brilliance. Unfortunately, the douckg had not realized that these were the stupid physicists of the town, and he was horribly disappointed when his newfound fame was taken away from him upon the realization that his quarking was simply a mix of a bark and a quack. The douckg returned to his pond-side doghouse and slept for days, feeling very depressed.
After a week or so, however, the douckg realized that there was something else he could offer to the world. And so, he set out one bright September morning and got himself a job at Disneyland. He was very happy after that, because Disneyland is awesome.
After a week or so, however, the douckg realized that there was something else he could offer to the world. And so, he set out one bright September morning and got himself a job at Disneyland. He was very happy after that, because Disneyland is awesome.
Daily Story 24 - The Time Traveler
Once upon there was a woman who could travel in time. She left on a Friday and returned on a Saturday, and thus her story for the previous day had been delayed. She really didn't mean for it to be delayed, it was all the time travel's fault.
So, she put on a wig and danced around for a while, hoping her transgression would be forgiven. She also gave out candy to people. But not really, because she didn't have any candy to give out and there was nobody around to give it to. So she simply danced around in a wig until she decided she was bored and wandered off to go eat some food.
So, she put on a wig and danced around for a while, hoping her transgression would be forgiven. She also gave out candy to people. But not really, because she didn't have any candy to give out and there was nobody around to give it to. So she simply danced around in a wig until she decided she was bored and wandered off to go eat some food.
Daily Story 21 - Retarded Misconception
(This one's... a lot more of a rant than usual, but there have been a few times I've wanted to say this to someone (more than one person, actually) and I figured I should just get it out of my system before I snap and go bat-shit crazy on someone for a harmless comment. That, and after I wrote this I didn't really have the energy or the inspiration to write something else for today's story. And no, there wasn't anything that happened today that triggered this, just thinking about earlier in the semester when I tried to explain that being 'retarded' (nowadays the correct term is 'having a cognitive delay') was a very specific type of mental disability and didn't necessarily apply to someone who was showing signs of having some kind of mental disability. The first paragraph is what I just now realized I could have said, and the second paragraph is how I would have reacted if someone had asked me 'what's the big deal,' but only if I were the kind of person who actually went off on angry tirades (the ones in my head don't count because I'm the only one who can hear them).)
Just because someone can't display their intelligence in a way that everyone else expects them to doesn't mean they're incapable of intelligent thought, and just because they have trouble doing things that the rest of us can do doesn't mean they don't have anything else to give to the world. Even people who do have a cognitive delay, all they need is more help and more time than the rest of us. Stop looking at what they can't do, and start looking at what they can do. People can't just up and change the way they think, so give them a break. God knows they need it.
Yes, it might just seem like a simple mix-up of definitions, it does bother me, because I've spent my entire life being lectured and mocked because I'm afraid, because I can't concentrate, because I can't do things the way everyone else does, and I hated it, I hated people lecturing me, I hated being constantly reminded that I wasn't good enough, and I believed it. I knew there was something wrong with me, I got reminded every day, I thought it was my fault, I wanted to change, I was sick of feeling that way, but I couldn't change it because I didn't even know what the goddamn problem was, so how the hell was I supposed to fix it, but they kept criticizing me, getting pissed off at me for something beyond my control even though it was obvious, it was fucking obvious that I couldn't do what they wanted me to, how did they not see that I needed help? But they were right, I needed to change, and that hurt. It hurt so fucking bad, I hated myself, I couldn't see anything but failure, and it never stopped. And now, now I know, and now I'm sick and tired of hearing people telling me that I should stop being so anxious and that this it's not a big deal, because it is. I just want to scream at them, stop telling me what to do, I can't start thinking that way, I can't change that easily, I can't do these things that everyone else can, I need help, stop judging me for what I can't control, stop telling me to change, I'm trying, it's hard, stop forcing me to be like you, stop it, just stop, just stop, just- just shut up, just leave me alone, just let me live my life, just shut up, shut up, just shut up, just stop, stop, shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!
Because, honestly, I don't want to deal with this anymore.
Just because someone can't display their intelligence in a way that everyone else expects them to doesn't mean they're incapable of intelligent thought, and just because they have trouble doing things that the rest of us can do doesn't mean they don't have anything else to give to the world. Even people who do have a cognitive delay, all they need is more help and more time than the rest of us. Stop looking at what they can't do, and start looking at what they can do. People can't just up and change the way they think, so give them a break. God knows they need it.
Yes, it might just seem like a simple mix-up of definitions, it does bother me, because I've spent my entire life being lectured and mocked because I'm afraid, because I can't concentrate, because I can't do things the way everyone else does, and I hated it, I hated people lecturing me, I hated being constantly reminded that I wasn't good enough, and I believed it. I knew there was something wrong with me, I got reminded every day, I thought it was my fault, I wanted to change, I was sick of feeling that way, but I couldn't change it because I didn't even know what the goddamn problem was, so how the hell was I supposed to fix it, but they kept criticizing me, getting pissed off at me for something beyond my control even though it was obvious, it was fucking obvious that I couldn't do what they wanted me to, how did they not see that I needed help? But they were right, I needed to change, and that hurt. It hurt so fucking bad, I hated myself, I couldn't see anything but failure, and it never stopped. And now, now I know, and now I'm sick and tired of hearing people telling me that I should stop being so anxious and that this it's not a big deal, because it is. I just want to scream at them, stop telling me what to do, I can't start thinking that way, I can't change that easily, I can't do these things that everyone else can, I need help, stop judging me for what I can't control, stop telling me to change, I'm trying, it's hard, stop forcing me to be like you, stop it, just stop, just stop, just- just shut up, just leave me alone, just let me live my life, just shut up, shut up, just shut up, just stop, stop, shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!
Because, honestly, I don't want to deal with this anymore.
Daily Story 20 - Eating things
I like to eat things. One time I ate so much that I felt sick for the rest of the day. It wasn't very pleasant. I know a lot of people who like to eat things. I think just about everyone likes to eat things. I know for sure that everyone has to eat things sometimes, too. I'm just glad I like to eat things, because I have to do it three times a day. Although sometimes I forget to eat things so it's a bit difficult to eat three times a day all the time. When I forget, I feel hungry and angry. I like to call it feeling 'hangry.'
The best kinds of foods are the ones that taste good and give me lots of energy. I think I'd like to eat those kinds of foods all the time, but I like eating candy too, and that doesn't really give me energy but it's too good not to have sometimes. I don't like how some healthy foods taste, so I don't eat them, even though I'm supposed to.
In conclusion, healthy eating habits are very important.
(I bet I could make a fortune writing children's books.)
The best kinds of foods are the ones that taste good and give me lots of energy. I think I'd like to eat those kinds of foods all the time, but I like eating candy too, and that doesn't really give me energy but it's too good not to have sometimes. I don't like how some healthy foods taste, so I don't eat them, even though I'm supposed to.
In conclusion, healthy eating habits are very important.
(I bet I could make a fortune writing children's books.)
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