Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Daily Story 59 - Looking Back, Part 3

When Mom got sick, I kind of had a feeling that it would be the end of our travels together. I think Mom did too, otherwise she would never have known to send me away when she did. I wanted to go with her so bad, but I couldn’t. She’d made me promise to stay safe. To make sure her sacrifices wouldn’t be in vain. I had to hide, and I did. I don’t know how long I wandered through the wilderness on my own, but it had to have been at least a month. I was just so terrified and lost. I had no idea what I was supposed to do now that I was alone and the government knew I’d left Oakwood. After a while, though, the idea occurred to me that I could do something to help my mother, and that became my focus. I don’t know if I ever really believed I could do it, but I don’t think I cared. It gave me a path, and it made the next four years much easier to bear.

Then Colt showed up, and even though I didn’t want his help, he pretty much forced me to accept it. All of a sudden, I actually had a way to get what I’d been wanting for four years, and it scared the hell out of me. I wanted it so bad, but at the same time, I didn’t. Now that there was a real chance of getting Mom out of that place, I suddenly found myself having to risk everything and go for it. I had to be willing to put myself in danger after four years of avoiding it. And as much as I wanted to give up and ask Colt to help me hide again, I couldn’t. I couldn’t just give up like that, not now that my goal was finally within reach. I really missed her, and I really missed my dad. I had nothing else to live for. I couldn’t hide anymore. I had to do something.

It’s probably pretty rare to become best friends with someone who almost killed you and got you landed in prison, especially after just a couple weeks. It happened, though. Colt turned out to be exactly who I needed to meet at that point in my life. He did so much more for me than I could ever have hoped for, and he made me feel like I had something in my life worth holding on to. He never let me give up, not even when the world spat in my face. And it really did spit in my face a lot after I met Colt.

I had been so sure I would see my dad again when I freed my mother. I knew he would have been taken to that same place, and I couldn’t wait to see him again. I had been dreaming about it for four years. And then I found out that he’d been dead all that time. Figures I’d have been living on a false hope.

Still, we saved everyone. We made the government fix its mistakes. We won. And suddenly my life was happy again.

It was strange to go back to living in that house, wandering that same town, talking to the people that were still there, and remembering those who weren’t. Even though it was everything I had ever wanted in the past eleven years, even though I finally felt happy again, it felt like I was just living in a dream. And I was absolutely terrified that one day I would wake up.

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