Daily Story 68 - Toodles the Doodle

A little boy drew a doodle once. The little boy named it Toodles. Toodles came to life one night, and the first thing he did was dance a spectacular dance with incredible lighting effects and a lovely song about how he was going to change the world now that he had come to life. He began by making the little boy stop being such a reclusive geek and by the end of the first week of Toodles's brand new life, the little boy was now a lovable popular geek who had tons of friends and was suddenly the star player of his school's football team. Toodles was about to go on to help other little boys and girls be happy in their lives, but the little boy who drew him was sad to see him go, so Toodles sang another unnecessary musical number to make the little boy feel better about their parting. Then Toodles left on his journey and didn't return to the little boy's room until about a year later, when the little boy had suddenly hit puberty and grown into a 5'10" teenager who didn't believe in Toodles anymore. Toodles began to lose his power, but before he became a lifeless drawing once more, the little boy who was now a pubescent teenager had a sudden revelation and began to believe in Toodles again. The teenage boy sang a tragic song when he saw that Toodles had returned to the paper he'd been drawn on and was no longer moving, and though a few dramatic minutes had passed after the boy had ended his song, Toodles returned to life as the boy silently wept, thinking that Toodles was really gone. Toodles cheered the boy up with a celebratory song, and together they changed the world into a happier place full of love and friendship and unnecessary musical numbers.

Daily Story 67 - The Loneliest Goldfish

It was a lonely creature. Its life was rather boring, too. Sad day.

Daily Story 66 - Tacos of Tacoville

Many tacos lived in Tacoville. They lived very normal lives, despite their obvious handicap of being a perishable food that many people liked to eat, unless of course they began growing mold and then the tacos died of mold age (ha ha, get it? mold age! I'm so clever.) instead of dying a sudden, painful death at the hands (or teeth) of a hungry person. Most tacos preferred the sudden, painful death due to the fact that mold is gross, but they did not much care for this way of dying, either, so some would try to come up with a creative solution that allowed for them to die without pain or vomit-inducing mold. And so, the town of Tacoville had a very high rate of taco suicide by hot sauce.

Daily Story 65 - The Personalities of Numbers

From a very young age, I felt that numbers were more than just representations of an amount of something. I felt they were beings with distinct personalities. It has to do with that little math trick, if you add up the numbers of a large number and they equal 9, it's a multiple of nine, if it equals 3 or a multiple of 3, it's a multiple of 3, and if it happens to be either of these two and it's an even number, it's a multiple of 6. And so, if you add my brilliant imagination, you get the following:

Nine is the best of them all. It mixes all the good qualities of all the numbers. It is the hero.

Eighteen is even better because it is an even number.

Multiples of three are the best. Three is stern, six is... kind of playful, but nine is a perfect mixture of the two.

One up from a multiple of three is bad. One is pure evil, four is an annoying little smart-ass, and seven is arrogant but not as annoying about it as four.

Two, five, and eight are the uptight lot that also save the multiples of three from the one, four, and seven. Two is very stern and unforgiving of failure, five is stern and does not much care for playing around, and eight is kinder and saves nine from the terrible deeds of one.

These numbers lend their traits to every number above and below them. Zero is a nine, eighteen is a nine, twenty-seven is a nine, and so on. Twenty-eight is a one, thirty is a three, thirty-four is a seven... you get the idea. It all depends on how far up they are from a multiple of nine.

Since I figured this out I've always walked in groups of six, though now multiples of four are all right as well since most music that I like to walk to is in 4/4. Thanks to this I now know how many steps there are every place I spend a lot of time in.

Also, nine is the best superhero there is. If you're ever in a jam, call for nine.

Daily Story 64 - A Story of Dogs

Doggy dog dog dog doggy doggydog dogdog dog. Dog dogdog doggy doggydoggy dog doggydoggydog dog. Doggy dog doggy dog dog dogdoggy doggydog dog doggy dog dog. Doggydog woof doggy dog dog dog doggy dogdogdog doggydog doggy doggydog dog dig did dog. Doggy dog puppy doggy woof dog dog woof puppydog woofwoof dog woof. Puppy woof dog doggy dogwoof woofydog woof woof pup. Woof woof.

The end.

Daily Story 63 - The Most Amazing Story EVER

Okay so this one time I was doing something, I don't remember what but I think it was in the kitchen and I was like putting away dishes or something, I dunno, but it was something like that and I was somewhere boring like that doing something boring and stuff. Anyway, I heard this noise, or I think I did, I might have imagined it or something, but I'm pretty sure I heard it so I went to go check it out and there was this thing in the one place, I don't know if it was the bathroom or the dining room but it was somewhere with a table or maybe it was a counter or sitting on a dresser or something but there was this thing sitting on something and I was all 'oh my god what the hell is that thing' and it was all 'Cat, I'm a Kitty Cat' except it didn't actually say that because it was a cat and cats don't talk but whatever you get my point and it went meow meow meow and then I was like CAAAAAAAAAAT and I ran away.

It was awesome.

Daily Story 62 - A Beard Made of Sails

Back in the days when sailing was the only way to cross the Atlantic, a young boy was desperate to look like a man. So, he took scraps of fabric from a sail that had been ruined by a storm and made a beard out of it. He put it on his face and wore it with pride. However, everyone who looked at him could not help but laugh at how ridiculous he looked. The boy would have to find some other way to look like a man...