Daily Story 324 - The Boring Mop Eats People

There was a man who lived in the city by the desert who spent his time investigating strange inanimate objects. His latest investigation was of a mop that seemed to be rather boring, but had apparently tried to eat a yellow chair belonging to some orphans. The man put the mop under observation for twelve hours, then began to experiment on it. He soon discovered something rather alarming. The mop not only had a taste for yellow chairs, but it also had a taste for human flesh. This would be rather troubling if the mop were to go back to residing in someone's house, and so, the man locked the mop away in a metal room with walls that would be impossible for the mop to bite into or digest.

Daily Story 323 - The Boring Mop ate the Yellow Chair

Three young orphans lived in the desert by an oasis that nobody else really knew about. One night, one of the orphans had a dream. She woke up in a panic and woke her siblings to tell them about her horrible nightmare.

"It's all right," said the older one. "Mops don't eat chairs, sissy. Mops don't eat anything."

"I wouldn't be too sure," said the younger one, pointing to the yellow chair nearby. There was a small bite mark on the side of it, and there was a strange line of wooden splinters and yellow paint chips on the mop handle. It looked like the mop was smiling.

"Do we even need this mop anyway?" the older one asked.

"Just for keeping the window open, and we hardly ever do that anymore anyway," the younger said. And so, the next morning, the three orphans went into the nearest town and sold the mop to some guy who was investigating inanimate objects that did strange things. They never had to worry about their yellow chair again.

Daily Story 322 - Boring Mop in the Desert

The desert mop was about as uninteresting as a piece of glass that served no purpose and just sat around in the middle of nowhere where nobody actually saw it because nobody lived there and very few people actually passed by it. However, someone did pass by the desert mop, and this person definitely noticed it. This person was an orphan who lived near an oasis in the desert, and the orphan brought the mop home to show her orphan siblings. They weren't sure what they could do with a mop, but they kept it around anyway because they were orphans living in the desert and that's what desert orphans do.

Daily Story 321 - Yellow Chair in the Desert

There was a yellow chair in the desert, not far from the small oasis which supplied the nearby family of three orphaned children with food and water of the most wonderful kind. The children didn't know of the chair's existence for the longest time because it blended in so well with the yellowish sand of the desert, but when they found it, they happily took it into their home and used it both as a chair and a table, depending on what the circumstances called for.

There was also a mop but nobody really cared about the mop because there was nothing to use it for other than to prop open the window because they were in the freaking desert. Granted, it served this purpose very well, but the orphan siblings didn't need to hold the window open very often, so it didn't really matter.

Daily Story 320 - Sad Packing Peanut

The packing peanut on the table had once made friends with a dog. The dog hadn't been the best friend to the packing peanut, but nevertheless the packing peanut had loved the times they had spent together. The packing peanut enjoyed sitting on the dog's head while the dog seemed to be oblivious to its very existence, and while the dog sometimes found the packing peanut on its head and always tried to brush the packing peanut away, the packing peanut was happiest when it spent time with the dog.

However, it was not able to spend time with the dog on this particular day. Thus, the packing peanut spent the day moping in silent packing peanut disappointment.

Daily Story 319 - The Sexy Salt Shaker

The sexy salt shaker actually wasn't very sexy at all. It did have a good and fulfilling romantic life, however.

Daily Story 318 - The Phone Book on the Table

There was a phone book on the table, and it like to read itself. If it had been able to pick up a phone or speak into it, it would have called up everyone inside it whose name sounded sexy to it.