Daily Story 198 - Best Treat Ever

Step 1: Have freezer readily available
Step 2: Have plastic cup readily available
Step 3: Have spoon readily available, preferably grapefruit spoon but regular spoon works as well
Step 4: Buy soft drink of your choice
Step 5: Pour soft drink into plastic cup
Step 6: Place plastic cup containing soft drink into freezer
Step 7: Leave plastic cup containing soft drink in freezer for several hours
Step 8: Take plastic cup containing soft drink out of freezer
Step 9: Get spoon
Step 10: Use spoon to eat soft drink that is now frozen out of plastic cup
Step 11: ???
Step 12: Bliss

Daily Story 156 - Revenge's Cheeseburger

Revenge was a sweet, sweet mistress. She was very kind to the man who had taken her as his mistress, and she was kind and charitable to all those around her. She was dainty as a feather, yet strong as an ox. She loved children and rainbows and puppies and education and the fight for equality for people of all races, religions, sexual orientations, and physical and mental conditions. She was beautiful and intelligent, and she had a delightful sense of humor. In short, she was wonderful, and she only had one weakness.

She loved cheeseburgers.

It was not simply love, however. It was sheer obsession. She craved cheeseburgers. She could not go a day without a cheeseburger, and may God help any pitiful fool who tried to get in the way of her cheeseburger. The one man who did...

Well, besides that one... rather disturbing flaw in her character, Revenge was a very wonderful, beloved individual.