Daily Story 25 - Douckg

Once upon a time there was a dog. One day, this dog turned into a duck, though he was still very much a dog as well, and he spent the rest of his life as a douckg, quarking at people who passed by. Physicists were amazed at this douckg's ability to turn subatomic particles into a verb that involved using one's vocal cords to make a sound that resembled a cross between a bark and a quack, and they praised the douckg's ingenuity and brilliance. Unfortunately, the douckg had not realized that these were the stupid physicists of the town, and he was horribly disappointed when his newfound fame was taken away from him upon the realization that his quarking was simply a mix of a bark and a quack. The douckg returned to his pond-side doghouse and slept for days, feeling very depressed.

After a week or so, however, the douckg realized that there was something else he could offer to the world. And so, he set out one bright September morning and got himself a job at Disneyland. He was very happy after that, because Disneyland is awesome.

Daily Story 14 - My Best Friend the Piano

I have a friend named Piano. She is a piano. I like her very much. She plays music for me sometimes, but mostly I have to do all the work because she is a piano. She is a player piano, actually. She can play music all by herself.

But you know what? I want to learn how to play the harp. That would be cool. Then Piano would have a friend. I'd name the harp Harp because that way it would be clear what Harp is just by hearing his name. And then I could play the harp while Piano plays a song. Or maybe I would play the piano and Harp could just sit around and be a harp. That would be cool, too.
I like music. It's musical, and music is good. Therefore, I like it. I might go beyond just having a piano and a harp and get another musical friend named Accordion. Accordion would be an accordion, obviously, and she would sound like an accordion, except for when I'm not playing the accordion. Then she would sound like nothing. How about that?

Maybe I'll go find myself some magic balls, too. Then all my musical instruments would be protected, because magic balls protect things. Though not everything, since nothing is safe from the terror of being ruined by Hollywood. Oh well, I doubt they'd be able to make a movie out of this story, seeing as there is no discernible plot to speak of, nor is there any sort of significant character development or deep meaning to be found within these words. That being said, if you start reading into this, you need help. Seriously, it's just a story. This is the real world, people. Get used to it.

But I still want Piano to have her friends Harp and Accordion. That would really be nice. She deserves nice things. After all, Piano is my friend, and I like having friends. Friends are nice. Musical instruments are nice as well. Therefore, having three musical instrument friends would be awesome. Don't you agree?

Of course you do.

Daily Story 7 - Mr. Scooter's Funeral

(This one is dedicated to my super slick ride.)

Mr. Scooter was a very fine scooter. He scooted along with great scooting skill, and he scooted with the passion of his family's dedication to the fine art of scooting. But then one day he committed suicide by scooting in front of a speeding bus.

Many people were sad. Many people were also confused, because they had no idea how a scooter could possibly commit suicide, nor were they sure how the scooter had been alive to begin with. It was a very complicated issue.
He had a funeral with many people in attendance. Some cried. Some wailed. Some mourned in silence. Some became so enraged that they had to be restrained and taken out of the building. Others simply watched the event and wondered why an inanimate object was being treated like a real person.
They played sad music at Mr. Scooter's funeral. It was very sad, especially for the people who were actually sad. For the people were confused, it wasn't quite so sad, but they still found it sad.

After dinner, which happened after the funeral, people went back to their lives, while the children of Mr. Scooter scooted along the streets with sad scoots, for they would always miss their beloved father. This, of course, confused a lot of people, because they weren't quite sure how these miniature scooters were able to scoot along by themselves. Or cry. Or have such big, sad eyes. Or be alive in general.

Nevertheless, Mr. Scooter's wife and children were all alive through the magic of magic, and while they continued to grieve for Mr. Scooter, they lived on, scooting with great scooting skill, and scooting with the passion of their family's dedication to the fine art of scooting. And so, they continued on with the tradition of scooting, all the while confusing many people.